This beautiful Monday morning, I told My Serenity Story to an agent whom I am in contract with. She cried and was balling as she told me what happened between her and her manager and how she is fearful of her manager. I read her the Serenity Prayer (below) and shared with her my very own Serenity story.
Many years ago, I worked as an engineering assistant in a small Dallas Texas office. I was hired right out of college with a Civil Engineering degree. Some of my duties included revising engineering CAD drawings. I must admit, I wasn't very good at it. I could get things done but it may not be the "right" way. I didn't attend AutoCAD school. I only had 1 lesson of CAD class in college. All my CAD lessons were actually hands-on experience at work.
My first few years at that workplace was challenging. I worked with co-workers ALL older than me. They all had family, hence when work was over, work was over. There was no bonding time at Happy Hour. That was definitely not a place I had envisioned for my 1st job out of college. (I had watched too much TV when I was a teenager - to imagine that work was like Boston Legal on TV).
I specifically chose that workplace out of 4 job offers at that time (1998) due to its size. The economy was good and my internship during my last year in college landed me lots of job offers to select from. I discussed with my father on which job I should select. He said, take the small company. That way, you will really learn much more than you would ever in a large firm. So I did.
I must say, my first few years was close to a misery. My husband had also just began his career. So, two young professionals were ready to take on the world, ready to climb the corporate ladder and ready to prove to our companies that we are indeed good choices of candidates. My boss - the owner of the company mentioned that I was his first hire out of college. The rest of the employees had experience - some older than my age. I definitely did not want him to think that I was a failure. I wanted to give other fresh out of college kids a good fighting chance. I represented so much - in my mind to my boss.
My job was set only at 40 hours. Over and above that, I would be paid overtime. Hence, those came far and few in-between until my 2nd year. I was also the youngest in my company. Then, at 22-years old working with most people who are in their 40s - 60s. I was the only girl in the Engineering Department. One of 3 ladies in the Engineering Office.
I am not sure what went wrong and I must admit that I was not the perfect employee my boss wanted. I multi-tasked ALOT. I chose to communicate with my husband throughout the day via MSN Chat. I was caught by my boss for doing so. I repeatedly did that despite told not to. So, I lost the trust of my boss and deservingly so.
In one season of my work life there, I helped revised ALOT of CAD drawings. So, I worked directly under the Engineering Manager for these assigned duties. I clearly remembered that I was truly given ALOT to do that week and with my limited CAD abilities, I didn't finished the workload that week. The Engineering Manager went to my boss to perhaps tell him that I was goofing off, surfing the Internet. Hence, I didn't finish my work. But honestly, I didn't. I never worked so hard during my time there as I have that week. Because I knew I was monitored by this Engineering Manager, I didn't spare any time goofing off. I'm a very smart girl. I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize my livelihood there. I was truly slow because of my limited CAD abilities.
So, I got the dreaded call to the office from my boss. He explained it to me why I was called into the office. He made me signed something in writing that I would not be given Internet access, and if I am ever caught again, I would be terminated. That was a very sad day in my life. I given my best to my company to prove I was worthy of an employment there. Yes, I have made mistakes in the past. But I know for a fact, I didn't goof off that week. I really dont remember if I even told my boss that. I was scared and felt so small.
For the next few months, I lived in the company for fear of losing my job. That place would literally make me so sick, that my brain would trick me into being sick. I hated Mondays and I can't wait for Fridays to come so I dont have to go to work. I found no joy and for the next few years, continued to work there only because my work visa was tied to the company.
My only way out was education. I took on a Masters Degree - in the IT Consulting. Because my work visa is tied to my education, the only way out of this company was to get a Masters Degree in a different field. I prayed for 2 years to go by quickly. I prayed to be tiny in the company so that no one would notice me. Most of all, I prayed the Serenity prayer for the next three years:
"God, Please grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference".
I prayed for God to take me out of that place. I asked God to let those people back off my neck.
But you know what?????
After residing that prayer, day after day before I start work - after 3 years, God didn't take me out of that place. God CHANGED my views about the people I worked with. I can't tell you how God did that, but He did. God just suddenly opened my eyes to things I have not seen nor experienced before at work.
I began to earn my boss's trust again so much so that he created a department just for me because he saw my talents and gifts in other areas - other than Engineering. He called it Business Development. I worked alongside him to grow the company, to take marketing and project presentations to the next level and I even handled the company website too. I saw how my boss ran the company conservatively. So, I bring that into my business today.
Now, I wouldn't say I would want to re-live those first few years again. But I wouldn't take it away because it made me a better person today. If it was not because of what I endured, I would have never had a chance to get to know my boss - the way I see and look up to him as a role model today.
I've left the company for three years now. But my relationships at my old workplace remains strong. I have nothing to thank except for the Serenity Prayer and for God to show me the way. I hung in there, rather than calling its quit. And I am glad I didn't.
Moral of the Story:
You can ask God for anything you want. Be prepared for what He may give you. I prayed to be taken out of the situation, but instead He chose to open my eyes to things I've never seen before. The Serenity Prayer brought alot of peace in my life and I hope I could pass this encouragement to you. If you need peace in your life, or don't understand what you are going through, pray the Serenity Prayer and see what He may reveal to you.
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A Serenity
Story of How I Wanted One Thing and Got Something Else Instead.
