I've celebrated over 30 years of Mother's Day with my mother. As each year passes, I begin to understand the significance of her role in my life more. The last 2 Mother's Day (2007 and 2008) really meant something to me because "I was celebrated" as a mother to my now-19-month old son, Boomer.
Motherhood has not been easy for me. It was not blissful and certainly not a bed of roses unlike experiences of many close friends.
Motherhood has challenged me beyond my dreams. I never thought that motherhood was going to be easy, but I didn't know how much opportunities I had to grow until I became one.
My son was colic-ky when he was born. So, I had to prop him up for over an hour on my chest before I could put him down to sleep. I was never as sleep deprived until I had my son. He star
ted sleeping through the night only at 14-months old. So, for over a year, the longest stretch of sleep I had was 3-hours. When you are sleep deprived for so long, you eventually become a different person - one not so cool to hang out with.
That experience in itself was tough. On top of that, my son is extremely strong-willed doesn't help the situation. For the longest time, mothers would tell me to enjoy my son and I could only wonder what they meant.
Even till these days, my son's day seem to drive the outcome of my day. I usually go through 3 meltdowns every day and I am extremely worn out by the end of the day, after having to take care of my real estate clients and my
son.
Most people would ask, "So when is Number 2 coming?". Most of the time, I crinched in my mind only to imagine I have to re-live those days. It is only now (after 18-months) that I can slowly start to think, "Maybe I can enjoy my son".
Motherhood hasn't quite been what I thought it would be. Because of my planner personality, it really tear me apart as a person. I'm highly motivated and a check-off-the-list person. So, not having the ability to work off my to-do list drives me crazy.
I'm sharing all this because I still wouldn't change anything in the world than not to be a Mommy to my son. Being a mother taught me so much about Forgiveness - something I struggle with fairly often. Although we have our challenging moments, at the end of the day, I love my son unconditionally no matter how much he has tested me. Likewise, despite my discipline with him, he still wants my love and attention.
I have never experienced such Forgiveness and better yet, it showed me a glimpse of how much my Heavenly Father loves me no matter what I have done. I know His love for me is unconditional despite my imperfections. I can grasp this now.
I wouldn't change a thing about my son. He is perfect in my eye. And I never know how much I could love.
Everyday now, I thank God for his cries because I would rather have a difficult day than never to have heard or seen his presence.
To all Mommies out there, Happy Mother's Day. I know it's not easy but we just keep putting our best foot forward each day.
